Another, even more important “job” of dating is, as you get acquainted, to determine if you should continue to pursue a relationship. Men do this better than women do. Men are able to just be in the moment, enjoy time with a woman, and if it keeps feeling good, keep seeing her. Women, on the other hand, tend to try to turn it into a relationship, sometimes–with online dating–even before you’ve met. You can’t be objective when you’re hoping, WAY TOO SOON, that it will become a relationship. Women need to learn from men to be more pragmatic and just enjoy it as a nice time spent together. That’s it. And if you continue to have a nice time together, and learn things about each other that you like, respect and admire, you continue to see each other. Eventually, you realize you don’t want to spend time with anyone else.

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Love the article! So very true! Wish I had known it last year at about this time . . . then I might have had a chance with the one guy with whom I had the most chemistry (out of all the fine men I have ever had the pleasure to know.) Because of that extraordinary attraction, I made the mistake of taking his job away, which he was doing so well at the beginning. Never again . . . as the cost was unspeakably high!!! I ought to be mindful of this now even though I am in a satisfying and exclusive relationship.

• Single Men Moscow Dating

I’m so glad you’ve realized you shouldn’t be pursuing him, he should be pursuing you. I know the ‘modern’ women don’t like to hear this, but men are men and if we want to be in a relationship with one, especially one who cherishes us, we need to do the dance that he knows. And sadly, few ‘modern’ women know how good it feels to simply relax and allow the man to be the man.

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OMG! A high wattage light bulb just lit up in my head lol. You put it very simply and clearly…”your job is to receive and his is to give.” I have blown opportunities with some great guys, simply because I was doing too much. But that’s what I thought I was to do, show him I was interested too. I have gone on a dating fast and have been working hard at loving myself and learning myself, before I attempt to live my life with someone else. Just recently I reconnected with a gentleman who I had doubts about when we first met a few months ago. So, as we started to talk I was at ease, because of these doubts. He’s very interesting and I’m finding that I want to know more about him. So, I’ve called him and texted him, but that stops today!

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Women need to slow down and relax. It’s just a date until you have that conversation that you will be a committed couple. And even then, it doesn’t mean you’re headed to the alter. It only means you’re going to continue to see what’s possible, but won’t be dating anyone else for the time being. So relax and just have fun allowing him to pursue you. That’s the golden rule of dating. His job it to pursue you and yours is to RESPOND to his efforts at winning your heart. And you know what, if you learn to do this, it will feel a whole lot better than what you’ve been doing. I share all of my secrets about men in Men Made Easy, a fun, easy read that shows you how easy it is to transform your relationships with men by developing your Feminine Grace.

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